Whether you choose cognitive behavior therapy, applied behavioral analysis, family therapy or another type of therapy, finding the right therapist for your child is a must. Without a good therapist who your child and you can trust, your child will not reap the benefits of the treatment. But how do you find a good therapist for your child? It does take time and research, but it’s worth it to find a therapist who is a good fit for your child.
My personal experience to find a therapist for my child
I remember when we decided to pursue cognitive therapy as a treatment for our son J when he was about seven years old. We first tried the behavioral health group that was in the same medical building as our son’s pediatrician. The therapist they assigned to him was definitely not a good fit. In fact, during one session, the therapist yelled at J. In another session, J threw a plush toy at her and told her that he hated her. Yes, that was his last session with her. I went on the hunt to find someone who was a better match for him after that.
That is when I called the psychologist who had conducted J’s diagnostic tests because he liked her and we as a family trusted her. She recommended a colleague of hers who she felt would be a perfect fit for J given his personality and her colleague’s approach to therapy. We met with her colleague, and she was right. We’ve been with her as J’s therapist for close to a decade, and she has been truly wonderful for him.
So how can you find a good therapist for your child? Try the following steps.
1. Ask friends and acquaintances for recommendations
Whether you know other parents through a local autism or ADHD support group or have friends whose children receive therapy, their opinions and recommendations based on experience can be very helpful. Of course, you then have to check your health plan provider to see if the therapist participates in their network (unless you are fine with paying fee for service or out-of-network fees), but it at least gives you somewhere to start. Having a short list of therapists from people you know can put you on the path to finding a good therapist for your child.
2. Attend parenting meetings or workshops that feature local therapists
I know the special services team for our son’s school system and our local autism support group
sometimes offer workshops or learning sessions and invite therapists to speak on a topic. If you have an opportunity to attend one, you may be able to meet the therapist speaking and others from their group who are available to talk to parents.
One group of therapists in our community hosts a tween/teen group once a month at our public library for a board games and pizza event for kids on the spectrum. Although we already had a great therapist for J, if we had been looking, I definitely would have talked to them about therapy for him.
3. Talk to the guidance counselor at your child’s school
Guidance counselors at your child’s school can be a valuable source for providing recommendations for a therapist for your child. This is especially true if they have worked with your child at school and know them. Many guidance counselors are familiar with the local therapists and may be able to suggest a few who could be a good fit with your child.
4. Discuss recommendations with your child’s doctor
Some pediatricians and family doctors may know therapists in your area and could offer some suggestions based on their knowledge of your child and the therapist. If they do not, they may be able to point you in the direction of some local organizations that provide referrals and recommendations.
5. Check your health plan’s provider directory or an online provider finder
If you haven’t had any luck finding recommendations using the steps above, other resources include searching your health plan’s provider directory for in-network participating therapists. Also, there are some online therapist finders such as this one offered by Psychology Today.
6. Evaluate the potential therapists once you have a short list before you make a final choice
You should be able to set up a consultation before starting treatments with a therapist. I’ve seen many recommendations that you meet with at least three therapists before making a final choice.
Set up an introduction appointment and be sure to have your child attend with you. This will allow you to see how the therapist interacts with your child. Some things to consider include:
- How does your child respond to the therapist?
- Is the therapist able to successfully engage with your child (even if your child is reluctant)?
- What is the therapist’s background (e.g., type of therapist, years of experience, approach to therapy, etc.)?
- Does the therapist treat you as an ally?
- How do they view parent training? For younger children, training parents is important as you are a key component of the child’s work in therapy.
- Is the therapist open to hearing solutions from the child and parent?
- Do you feel confident the therapist can help your child and family?
If you’d like a more comprehensive list of questions for a consultation, check out this article on Understood.org for some suggestions.
Hopefully, you will find a wonderful therapist to help your child. But remember – your choice isn’t set in stone. Like us, you may have to try a couple before you find the right match. If you feel like the therapist isn’t the right one, don’t hesitate to look for another.
Do you have other suggestions about how to find a therapist for your child? Share them in the comments below! Let’s connect and support one another on this journey!
