School is such an important part of any child’s life, including those with autism/ADHD. Yet, for our kids on the spectrum, school can be very challenging both from academic and behavior perspectives. As a parent/caregiver, having a good relationship with your child’s teacher(s) can make the school year easier and more successful. Check out these seven ways to work with your autistic child’s teacher for a better school year.
Communication is key
Communication between parents and teachers is a must have for a good relationship. It also ensures your child is getting what they need at school. Make sure you know what the best way is to reach your child’s teacher. Also, if you need to talk in person, what time is best to call them.
Each year, I make sure to reach out to my son J’s teacher(s) before the school year starts. I provide an email introduction about J that includes: subjects he loves; the subjects where he needs more help; behavior challenges at school; solutions that seem to work for him; an overview of his individualized education plan; and my contact information. I also have been able to schedule time before school starts for J to meet his teacher and see his classroom. This has really helped to start the year off right and help him get comfortable before he starts school that year.
Also, understand what type of information your child’s teacher will be sending home and the schedule for that information. For example, the teacher may send home a weekly classroom newsletter to parents each Friday.
Depending on your child’s age, you may want to establish a different way of sending signed papers to the teacher. For instance, if your child is not going to remember to turn in a signed form, ask the teacher if you can drop it off at the office, mail it to them or email an image of the form.
Help the teacher better understand your child
You know your child better than anyone. Therefore, you are the best one to educate your child’s teacher about your child. As I mentioned above, send an introduction email to the teacher at the beginning of the school year. You also could set up a special meeting with your teacher early in the year to discuss your child. If your child has a speech therapist that provides ongoing support, ask the therapist attend the meeting with you. Sharing your child’s strengths, challenges, interests, behavior approaches and more can go a long way to a collaborative relationship.
Be clear about your expectations
It’s important that you are clear with your child’s teacher about your expectations. For example, I have expected that my child’s teacher follows all accommodations in his IEP. Unfortunately, I had some teachers who did not always do this. For example, because of J’s ADHD, I always had them include in his IEP that recess not be taken away as a discipline because he needed that time to run and expend energy during the day. His first grade teacher repeatedly did not follow this, and after talking to her about it a couple of times, I finally brought in the school’s director of special services to resolve it. After that, he didn’t miss recess again because of discipline.
Advocate for your child but support the teacher
My mom was an elementary and then a sixth grade teacher in a middle school for our inner city school system, and she loved it. She loved teaching and really enjoyed her students. What she didn’t like so much were parents who were combative and refused to acknowledge the behavior and other problems their children were experiencing at school. I have tried hard over the years not to be that type of parent.
We definitely need to advocate for our kids. They need our help to ensure their side of the story is being heard. We need to be sure they are receiving all the services they are entitled to through their IEP and other rights as a student.
Yet, we still need to support our child’s teacher by listening to them, considering their perspectives and working with them to find solutions to the problems they are facing with our children. We know our kids can be tough to deal with at times, and it’s no surprise that your child’s teacher will be facing the same type of challenges you are facing at home with your child.
Be honest about your frustrations in a respectful way
Most often, teachers have your child’s best interest at heart. Even in the best of circumstances, there will be moments when you will be frustrated with actions from the teacher or others at school. You need to be honest about your frustrations and voice them, however, you can do so in a respectful way. Like being a parent is hard, being a teacher is difficult too. Being respectful (even under tough circumstances) will help to maintain a good relationship and allow you to work together with your autistic child’s teacher with a more positive mindset.
Discuss problems right away
Letting problems fester can result inn bigger issues later. If you see something that needs to be addressed, do so right away. It’s better to find a solution when a problem is small.
Show your child’s teacher your appreciation
Your child’s teacher is working with your child every day and is a big part of their life during the school year. Send a note of appreciation every once in a while, to let them know how much you appreciate their work with your child.
When you work with your autistic child’s teacher, your child benefits throughout the school year and learns better. Having a good relationship with the teacher also gives you a better year too.
Do you have other ideas of how to work with your autistic child’s teacher for a successful school year? Leave your thoughts in the comments. Let’s connect and support one another!
