Raising a child with autism and ADHD can be a full-time job in itself. In fact, about 40 percent of parents in the United States who have a child with special needs leave the workforce to become a full-time caregiver for their children. That leaves about 60 percent of us still working and trying to juggle both a job and caregiving responsibilities. It can be done. So how can you effectively work full time and raise your child with special needs?
Fit your child into your life’s schedule, not the other way around
We make a lot of sacrifices for our children, and we do make many accommodations for them. Yet, we need to live our lives, which means working to provide for our families. With the high prices of housing, food and the general expenses of living, we need to be role models for our children of how to work and provide for our families. That means that one or both parents will need to work outside of the home. Some families are fortunate to have one parent who can stay home and be a full-time or part-time caregiver. For other families, that is not possible.
Look at your life and see what should stay in place to make your life yours. Be wary of rearranging your whole life around your child’s appointments, school and more. Think instead of how your child’s needs fit into your life. Health experts note that families who approach their schedules from that perspective are generally happier.
Be flexible
In an ideal world, we would be able to keep our work and personal lives completely separate. Yet, that generally doesn’t happen. Sometimes, you need to attend to an urgent work matter in the evening. Other times, you need to be able to take your child to an appointment or attend a school meeting during work hours.
If you are flexible in how your approach your time, then you will make it much easier on yourself to accomplish the things that must be done in both your work and personal lives. I am fortunate to have flexibility in my job and support from my management when it comes to taking my son J to his appointments, etc. It also helps me be more accommodating during the evenings and weekends when I’ve needed to handle work-related matters.
Educate your colleagues about autism and ADHD
Be open at your workplace about your child and your responsibilities for them. Many times, your boss and coworkers will be supportive if they understand your child’s needs. For those of us who have children with autism and ADHD, we may need to educate our colleagues about those conditions and what we must do to support our children.
Talk to your boss about the flexibility needed to take your child to appointments, attend school meetings, etc. and discuss how you can still get all your work done in a timely manner. If you have high performance and are a good employee, your boss most likely will want to accommodate your needs.
Take advantage of your benefits
If you work full-time (or even in some part-time jobs), you should have benefits for health care, vacation, personal time off and more. Make sure you understand your benefits fully and then use them strategically to make sure you are getting the most out of them for you and your child.
Your health care benefits are especially important. If needed, call your health plan’s customer service and talk through what benefits you have for your child. Does your benefits cover behavior therapy, occupational therapy, applied behavioral analysis (ABA) and more? Who are the in-network providers in your area? What is your deductible and coinsurance? Do you need referrals for specialists from your child’s primary care physician? Are prior authorizations required? How can you find out which medications are covered by your health insurance’s formulary?
If your company offers a wellness plan for employees, what can you participate in that will help you take care of yourself? Does your plan cover a gym membership and, if so, does it have a fitness facility that offers childcare while you work out? Does your plan offer wellness webinars that can help you better manage stress? Remember that taking care of yourself helps you better care for your child.
Know your rights as an employee with a special needs child
For those of us who live in the United States, the American Disabilities Act (ADA) and Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) offer some protections for parents of children with disabilities. If you are having difficulties at work regarding the time you need to provide care for your child with special needs, talk to your Human Resources department about protections under the ADA and/or FMLA or refer to an attorney to understand your rights.
We can effectively work full time and raise our child with special needs. What suggestions do you have to offer? Leave a comment so we can connect and support one another!
