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During each school year, your autistic child’s teacher(s) plays an important part of their life. Your child needs and deserves to receive a good education, and you work hard through Individualized Education Plan (IEP) meetings to ensure they are receiving the learning and accommodations your child needs. Good communication is a key to achieving this. So how can you effectively communicate with your autistic child’s teacher throughout the school year?

Reaching out to your autistic and ADHD child’s teacher

When my son J was in elementary school, I began communication with his teacher about a week or so before school started. I sent his teacher an email and asked if we could stop by to meet them and see the classroom on a day when they would be at school setting up for the new school year. Thankfully, every one of his teachers said yes, and it was so helpful for J. He got to meet his teacher, become familiar with his classroom and felt more comfortable about the new school year by doing so.

For me, it was a great way to begin communicating with his teacher. I was able to acquaint myself with them, mention his IEP and find out the preferred method of communication.

It’s important to establish a good relationship with your child’s teacher because they can be an essential part of your child’s dream team. If you want the full checklist of what I do for back-to-school preparation, download it from my free downloads library.

Generally, I found that most of J’s teachers throughout elementary, middle and high school have preferred email when it comes to communication. That also provides you with a trail of written documentation in case anything ever goes awry. However, if you have a teacher who prefers that you text or call them, then I would follow whatever works best for them.

How often should you communicate?

Fingers on computer keyboard with image of email icon floating. How can you effectively communicate with your autistic child's teacher?

I tried to communicate on a regular basis, especially if something needed to be addressed, but I also didn’t want to be intrusive. If all is going well, checking in a couple times per month would be fine. However, if you and your child’s teacher are dealing with behavior issues, etc. from your child, then it may be weekly or even daily depending on the situation.

Some parents and teachers like to keep a communication log. This is a written log that goes back and forth from school and home in your child’s backpack. It may be a tracker of your child’s behavior, goals set from their IEP or general notes about how things went that day. Look at the additional resources section below for a communication log that was created specifically for autistic students. There are many others available online, and you can even create your own if you prefer.

When to ask for an in-person meeting

Sometimes, requesting an in-person meeting with your autistic child’s teacher is the best way to effectively communicate something that is sensitive in nature, an issue with their IEP follow-through or a complicated matter. Email can be great for most communication, but it does have its limitations.

If you do request an in-person meeting with your child’s teacher, it’s best to see if the special services director can also attend. If it is anything related to your child’s IEP, you definitely want them involved. I had to do that when my son J was in elementary school, and the director was so helpful and supportive during those meetings.

Checking in to prepare for an IEP meeting

When your autistic child’s case conference – or IEP meeting – is coming up, you may want to check in with your child’s teacher. Hopefully, through the communication you’ve already established, you already know what’s going well and what isn’t.

I do find it helpful to ask the teacher about what else they think would be helpful for your child as you consider any additional accommodations to request. The teacher may have seen some things that really helped another child in the past that could work for your child as well. Teachers have some great experience and over a year, they become very familiar with your child’s strengths and weaknesses in the classroom.

Know when to escalate concerns about your autistic child

Even when you do your best to effectively communicate with your autistic child’s teacher, some things may need to be escalated to be resolved.

If you have sent several emails about a particular issue and met with the teacher in person without resolution to a problem, the issue most likely needs to be escalated to the school vice principal and/or principal.

In extreme cases (such as an IEP not being followed and you are not getting anywhere with it), you may need to request the assistance of an advocate or even a lawyer. Thankfully, things usually can be resolved sooner than needing to take these measures.

What have you found to be helpful to effectively communicate with your autistic child’s teacher? Leave a comment so that we can share and encourage each other on this journey!

Additional resources

Want more information about working with your autistic child’s teacher and school? Check out these suggested resources.

Parent Teacher Communication Book: Autism. Home School Communicator for Autistic Children (affiliate link)

IEP Parent Planner: Notebook Logbook For Parents & Advocates (affiliate link)

Simple Guide to Writing Professional Emails (affiliate link)

The Pivot for Parents & Educators Looking at Autism and ADHD through a Different Lens (affiliate link)