If you want to be your better self for your family, you need to show some love by taking care of yourself. As parents of kids who have autism and ADHD, we need more energy, patience and resilience each day to take on the challenges we face. Caring for special needs children is a marathon and requires more of all these each minute. That is why self-care is important for parents.
What does self-care look like?
We are all different, and that means what we value in taking care of ourselves will look a bit different for each of us. Overall though, it means you are taking care of your own needs and ensuring you are recharging yourself. Doing so does not make you selfish. It is a requirement, or you won’t be able to take care of others. Self-care is so important for parents.
I made this mistake when our son J was younger, especially during his toddler, preschool and elementary school years. I felt exhausted all the time. Because of his hyperactivity level and impulsivity, he had to be watched and directed almost every minute. Then I also had his younger brother to care for as well. My husband and I felt so tired all the time. Between working a high-demanding full-time day job, caring for my children and doing all other things in life, I did not prioritize caring for myself at all. In fact, like many moms, I put myself at the bottom of the list.
The one good thing I did during this time was to go to the YMCA to work out every Saturday morning. I would take J and his brother with me, and they would be cared for in the gym’s childcare while I exercised. It was a safe haven for me on the weekend, and the caretakers in their childcare facility adored the boys. They were able to play with other kids, and I was able to get some much needed downtime and exercise for a little more than an hour. Then I would let the kids play either in the indoor or outdoor playground for a while before we would head home.
A few years ago, I realized that if I didn’t force some downtime for myself on a daily basis, then I would break. I talked to my husband, and we agreed that after I took my shower in the evenings, then I would hang out in our bedroom and read before the boys’ bedtime. This has made a huge difference in my life, and I am still following this routine. Now that the boys are teenagers, it’s a bit easier to do this most evenings since they too are getting their own downtime by watching their shows on Netflix or YouTube or reading.
How can you make time for self-care?
Making time for self-care is crucial. Sometimes when your kids are little, it’s using their nap time to take care of yourself. Maybe you have respite services through an autism waiver that allows you to have someone take care of your child for a while so you can do other things. Another way is to switch off care taking with your spouse or other family member or close friend. Sometimes, we just need to look for the bits of time here or there throughout the time that can let us fit in even a few minutes of something enjoyable.
What are self-care activities?
Self-care can come in many different forms and activities. It depends on what helps you to relax and recharge. At its most basic, it’s making sure that you are eating nutritious foods, getting some exercise and sleeping enough.
Some activities that you may consider could include:
- Taking a nap
- Reading
- Writing in a journal
- Listening to music
- Using essential oils or burning aromatic candles
- Spending time with a friend
- Enjoying a hobby
- Meditating
- Practicing yoga
- Spending time outdoors
- Breathing deeply
- Petting a dog, cat or other pet
- Taking a walk
- Dancing
- Eating a meal at a restaurant
- Going for a bike ride
- Participating in a support group
- Stretching
- Watching a funny movie or videos
- Learning a new skill
- Putting together a jigsaw puzzle or doing a crossword or word search puzzle
- Gardening
The list could go on, but the important thing is to do those activities that bring joy and relaxation to your life.
What activities do you enjoy for self-care? How do you find time for taking care of yourself? Leave a comment so you can share your ideas with others!
